as thE yEaR 2011 ends.

three days to go... oh well I am just here at work. hmmm I got two stuffs to do but I feel like...

it's a free day for me. So, i'd rather write here anything... ANYTHING in my mind. I had a merry christmas, not just because of the presents I received but also because of JOY... yahooo I was able to spend christmas with myjoyjoy. lab yuuu sweetie.... hehehehe. We stroll a lot and shop a lot. It was really fun. Especially because we do it with mama, m.bong2x and ate malot. I miss that, even just staying in one room with mama and joy.

Fred is here also for vacation... I feel so happy. I am sure papa is watching us and he is as well glad to see us.

For the year 2011 I learned a lot and not all of my 2011 memories are good. My lolo past way and two of my uncles as well. I believe that it happened according God's will.

Year 2011 made me realize the power of God's will. Something that I almost forget what the school taught me when I was a grader. I studied in a catholic school since my kinder years until highschool, its a given fact that "God made us by His image and likeness... and we were given "free will" I know it... but I guess it was really difficult to understand then. Only this year that I come to think about it again... after reaching the point of almost questioning... why Papa passed away last November 2010 and my lolo on August 2011, how come that some people die in a motor accident or a person died after being stabbed... wondering a lot about this... why things like that happen and why God allows it? Been perplexed about it that moved me to ask people, I asked my religious sister and she chose not to think much about it... I really lost track of my learning... it's all different if you are in the situation of asking and its all because you experience it, not just a simple query. After a lot of asking... I even asked through text and my brother in law, m.jan... he told me (thru text) he said, something like this... God gave us free will... we do things according to our choice.. our will. God would always be there for us... for back up in all our decisions and if He allows things to happen its something we should not ask, but trust Him. (Not his exact words anymore... same thought =D) After that I realized that, yeah right! We have free will and the nature of passing away.. like with papa and lolo, it's already there time... I know papa was already ready for it and he had signs. He took papa from us physically... but I am sure papa is also happy now with his Father and he is just there in heaven watching over his family.

For this year also, after attending the holy mass, I reflected to the idea... (From Msgr.Bolivar) that women are really prone to share what they hear... but we should be like Mama Mary... when she was told that she was the chosen one to be the mother of the Savior, she immediately told St.Elizabeth.. thus, spreading the good news. yeah.. like that..we should also spread the "good news... if its not a good issue then, we should stop it there. oh well, how I wish people would reflect like I do. hehehehe if not, hopefully we can make it fair by knowing both sides... =p

For this year I changed my santa SOCKS into santa SACK... hahahaha joy gave me a red sack, like of santa! With sayings, "I WILL CHANGE my ways!" hahahahaa... love it... it was filled with presents. Lots of presents.

hmmmm the lyrics in my mind?

here...

Lord I hope this year (day) is good...
I should be thankful Lord, I know I should
But Lord, I hope this day is good....

If you dont know Don Williams those lyrics are really new hehehe it crossed my mind.

anyway... my mind is in random. hahahaahha.....

year 2012.... here I go!!!

In God I trust... Thy will be done.

Don’t judge me, you’re not a judge.. time to move on!


Who are you to say that my tears are cause of guilt?
his absence, his love… the missing feeling in me.
The fun, the talk, the loving care, no longer there you don’t see;
don’t judge me you’re not a judge, not even a bit.

Why do you always find the worse in me?
If you want to help, tell me straight no need to tell the town.
Pretend as a friend, and assume things I don’t say;
don’t judge me you’re not a judge, the real me you don’t see.

To forgive is difficult if to forget it can’t be done;
we can choose to forget, see the good things and eventually forgive.
but why do people still see and remember the mistakes we do?
let’s move on, we can learn from mistakes, let all hatred be gone.

A piece of advise for you and me;
we can focus on the present time and the individuality in us.
success comes in competing within ourselves and not to anyone else;
let’s move on, no more jealously, just love you and I should see.

dont trust your eyes, tesT Your brain!

My new favorite TV show.. I like it because it's interactive. Giving me a chance to participate in the show. I am learning while watching.. just entertaining and fun! actually I made a page of this in my facebook account and I don't forget to put the website where I got the picture and plus the optical illusion that goes. For the first 3 days in my account I got 495 likes and it been shared for about 356. Mika told me that she saw an ad, that its the "trending" blah blah in facebook. I feel excited about it, now for 9 days in my account it has 3,685 likes and 2,945 talking about it. =) I really don't have bad intentions about it, I just want to promote the show and to encourage people to watch worthwhile programs.


This is the part of the show, (first episode) which the guy talked about hypnosis.. I was watching while in my bed, and when I realize its about hypnosis.. I have to open my eyes "very wide" (as I am about to feel sleepy, just a bit.. as expected for the hypnosis to happen) because I am scared that I might also forget the word "four" if you haven't watch the episode, you'll probably ask if what I am talking here! hahahah!) it's fun.. I like it. It's still showing in National Geographic.. for the fourth episode, on Wednesday 9 PM, Phil. time.

my easter IK-OK.. new life!

Happy Easter.. this is my easter ik-ok a.k.a easter egg. This day reminds me of God's resurrection. Literally, for me the egg symbolizes the new life or rebirth.. because the egg gives new life as it hatches into a chick.. =D For us, it's our new life as we are given another chance to correct our wrong doings.

So, with that... I want to do something good with regards to the common mistake that I really don't intend to do but it just happens and often leads to misunderstanding.

Subject:
My cellphone (of 5 years.. can't let go of it even if I have 2 new units hehehe) IS ALWAYS UNATTENDED.

Why:
1. I don't know why people often calls me in times my cellphone is in silent mode.. =( Especially if I am in church.. schedule of duty at work.. or in a bank.
2. It's always a misconception.. that I am a text-addict. =( to be honest I just seldom send messages.. frederick can attest to that =D he would send me like 18 messages a day and I would read it before I sleep. =D
3. Low battery.. no charger.

Mistakes:
1. I often forget to turn the silent mode back to the normal mode after the mass.. =D sowi.
2. I can't talk both over the phone and in person! huhuhu like what happened last November. Oh well... I don't feel like explaining this often because there's nothing that I can do if I don't sound believable in explaining for the 1st to 3rd attempts of explanation. =p
3. I can't talk over the phone part 2.. if I travel.
4. I can't talk over the phone part 3.. if in person I am talking.. something very important.
5. Sleeping disorder.. I can't talk if I am asleep. hehehe =p
6. I just turn the silent mode if I am busy at work... so it keeps on receiving calls. =(

Solution:
hmmm i'd better turn off my cellphone... if I don't have time to attend to it and not to forget to make a return call or message after. I am planning for an answering machine. hehehe =p

God bless us. till then. wish me luck.. =)

ur eyes ur eyes... (@_,@) from freddy.

this video is from freddy... he said this song would remind him about me.


Just the way you are- Bruno Mars (my ex hehehe =D)


Oh, her eyes, her eyes, make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair, falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day

Yeah, I know, I know, when I compliment her she won't believe me
And it's so, it's so, sad to think that she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look okay, I say

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are(yeah)

Her lips, her lips, I could kiss them all day if she let me
Her laugh, her laugh, she hates but I think it's so sexy
She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day

Oh, you know, you know, you know, I'd never ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same
So, don't even bother asking if you look okay
You know I'll say

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are
The way you are, the way you are
Girl you're amazing, just the way you are

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Cause girl you're amazing, just the way you are. Yeah

My nephew baby justIN

my nephew... he's so cute.. after the long 9 months of waiting... he's finally out to see the world... mia and mika had a lot of names in mind for baby justin at first and it all depend on their favorite artist like logan lerman etc etc.. until justin beiber came rockin' their world. So.. that's the story for his nickname.. "justin" I took this picture at s.a.c. (one eye partly open)

so, for his first name.. I was really expecting that m.baby (my sister) would somehow add "few" letters to his name.. some sort of, mar? zor? al? hmmm from papa's first name I suppose.. because I heard something like "jannmar" at work from her officemate... anyway... expect the unexpected... but so far justin's first name is kinda okay... sounds okay and meaningful.. its "jan joseph christopher" hmmm I'll just save papa's name for another precious baby afterall . huh? pressure... weeeeeeh =p not now.. but someday... in a right time. =) (just one eye open again..)

here justin opened his eyes.. at the nicu...(both eyes) and I am all alone seeing this!! mama was talking to the nurse and nobody is beside me to listen to what I was about to tell.. that justin just opened his eyes!!! people??? head snap.. huh... good thing I got my camera.

here.. justin is about to go home... mama is already at the rizal. Actually m.baby doesn't want to post this picture at the facebook... so, I obeyed.. I just post it here in my blog...hahahah =D frederick was the one taking the picture.. yeah... my certified shock absorber is present. heheheh =)

here justin with the girls... "manang mika" give emphasis to the word manang... hehehe mika is now "manang" but I heard she doesn't want to be called manang.. she created a new name again.. hmm I forgot but I am very sure it's not easy to pronounce.. well mia is the strongest among the three of us to carry justin. If myjoyjoy is around, I am sure she will carry justin.. she's really good in carrying new born babies. hmm me? I just don't know how to carry a baby who is only 3 days old!! not by now.. okay okay ill be learning it.. maybe instincts will do. =p

hmmm lexie.. the first friend ever that justin saw... saw?? okay.. rephrase... the very first friend that saw justin (9 day old cute baby) aside from the nurses at s.a.c. (hmm just forget the towel that hangs hehehe.. and the crib color? sorry no more "blue color" available) lexie would always give m.baby some foods for justin when m.baby was like 4 to 8 months on the way in the office.

here.. I am just spending time with justin.. this is taken March 26... justin is crying here.. and I am actually serious here.. because he's face is all red. =(

well.. that's all for now.. I am so happy and thankful for God gave us justin.. got to go.. till then.

its jaz my birthday...

Its been four months and I miss papa a lot... especially on my birthday. I still remember everything.. every birthday I spent with papa... papa would play the birthday songs (cassette tape) he bought in Saudi, ( during childhood I used to believe that it's papa singing those tracks for me when I was in grade school) he would wear red shirt and would wake me up with a Cinderella's wake up song (bird singing in the first part of the movie).. papa would cook spaghetti for me.. and my day is not complete without a birthday kiss from papa.

I miss papa so much.. our talks.. the way he would cheer me up, the way he understands me.. the way we enjoy watching Cinderella, Sound of Music... Annie.. fiction movies.. and just being my fan in everything I do... with papa i can be the best chef in the world even though Joy and Mama won't even dare to eat what i cook (sometimes).

I believe that Papa is just there in heaven watching over me.. and he wanted me to be strong and to move on.. with his love inspiring me.

On my birthday I woke up crying =( but then I tried to enjoy my day knowing that Mama is always there to pick me up if am so down.. its been like that for four months, if she's breakin' down, I would also act as the strong one that she can depend on. I received greetings from friends, cousins.. a phone call from my aunt.. Tita Neneng always remembers my birthday, she never let it pass without greeting me. I am still in bed.. and I asked Mama to take these pictures.. I am opening the "pooh and friends" chocolate and stuffs from Joy. =)

On my birthday... Frederick is here for me, he knows how I need his company even if I won't say it.. its a surprise visit should I say, because I didn't expect he would make it on my birthday knowing that he was also here last November. He's really my favorite "certified shock absorber"... I know that (maybe) he wonders why I don't even text him for a whole day etc... don't answer his calls.. or he always has this "unexpected" faults... (it's easy especially if I keep finding one) but then if we're together.. we are just "happy"... he can make me laugh and I make him laugh (even if i don't intend it) I can tell him secrets and he can tell me his secrets too (but he expects I won't tell it to others.. hoping? hehehe) I sometimes caught him just staring at me.. I can make him smile. =) and he can make me smile too... well, we're just inlove ah. =) hmmm should I say.."I hate it when he's not around.. but mostly I hate the way I don't hate him... not even close... not even a little bit.. not even at all." hmm have I posted this kind of lines in my previous blog? well... never mind, that's in my MINd after all.. hehe =)

My mama.... love you mama... I am so blessed to have you Mama.. I know that you are a strong woman. I am so happy to have you.. your the best Mama in the world. You inspire me a lot.. You always make me strong.. and to move on with life. I love you unconditionally... Your love and Papa's love for me make my birthday complete.